& I know I’m being ungrateful, or even selfish, but there’s this part of me that’s (perhaps inappropriately) envious. Especially given the current circumstance.
I wanna live on the edge. Where you risk losing everything and nothing at the same time. I want to soak in the exhilaration. Flirt with death and relish the temporary self-proclaimed anarchy. To scream along to burning vehicles. To feel nothing and everything. To hold hands in protest. To see things people sing about taking place right in front of me. To be part of history.
Save lives. Be saved myself.
I need to believe there is still hope and where else is best to find it but the very place where all hope is seemingly lost?
I want to go to a place at war.
(I must be going mental)
I want to contribute a voice, a service. I just, want to be there.
Most of all, I need a feeling. I need something to fight for.