I have forgotten your face and what you said.

Satellite Imagery

Fall down now. Fall down now before you get too high and when you fall then it would be too painful. Fall down now because the view from down here is different. Fall down now so you would be reachable. Fall down now.

Do you believe in good things that shine in smiles, or pitter patter like rain? These good things are mischievous, frolicking about unsuspiciously like the wind when suddenly they surprise you in numerous forms, like blue skies or insubstantial rainbows. You cannot fathom these things, they transcend beyond your understanding. When they come they come, and the best you can do is watch them do their magic.

About 490 years ago Leonardo Da Vinci did a (then considered heinous) crime of stealing corpses to dissect them. He cut them delicately, studying their intricate insides and labyrinth of muscle fibres. What seemed to be a massive contribution to science and art (his anatomical drawings) was actually mindless doodling he resolved to when his first objective - which was to find out where a human soul was stored and in what form - was obviously not achieved.

Quantum immortality promises long life through branches of infinite possibilities. Being only theoretically (or mathematically) plausible through tree diagrams; it is however comforting to know you chose the right person in a parallel universe (that is not necessarily literally parallel), nevermind the fact the aforementioned universe would never intersect with ours, given how it would collapse the moment you make the decision.

Labyrinth

She creeps. She walks. She falls. She cannot stand. She feels exposed. The world is looking. She shivers. The world is sneering. She tilts her head. The world is spinning. She squints. The world is too bright. She quivers. The world is talking. She turns away. She runs. She closes her eyes. She stands straight. She smiles. The world is gone. She sits. She hides. She is safe.

He has, like everyone, changed. In my mind he would always be like he was three years ago; aloof and distant. He used to think he never had anything to give; not even conversations. Click rewind to the first time I met him. He was a silent rebel; like me, he refused to join in the hypocrisy that was school. He glanced and I blinked; instant friendship. I guess in a lot of ways I had him waiting for me; for my feet to get back on the ground. I was too much in love with the sky, I did not see him waving back at me. Until of course it was too late, he has moved on. People say I made him speak, gave him voice. I say I made him speak, but not to me. As he crashes the wall separating himself and the world then; he fenced me out, depriving me of his smiles. Though now we are friends again; promises and late night phone conversations; I would always remember him this way; sighing on the ground waiting for me.

I was a different person yesterday; having read lesser, having seen lesser, having experienced lesser. I am going to be a different person tomorrow; I would have read more, seen more, experienced more. I am ever-changing. So are you.

When there's too much in your heart

you act like there's nothing in your brain.

hilang.

Mana dia? Aku sudah mencarinya di atas, di bawah, di depan, di belakang, di kiri, di kanan, di setiap sudut bilik, di bawah meja, di atas meja, di tingkat bawah, di tingkat atas, di rumah sebelah, di rumah bersebelahan rumah sebelah, di celah-celah pepohon, di atas tanah lapang, di belakang belukar, di atas jalan raya, di rumah Mak Cik Semah, di dalam senarai nama penumpang kapal terbang, di twitter dan di blog, di belakang kabinet dapur, di dalam bilik-bilik dalam rumah ini dan rumah dia, di sebalik tabir, di mana-mana.

Mana dia?

Morbid

1. It's not like he doesn't care about her tears. He cares alot for this girl, but he's a Scorpio. A true Scorpio is hard-hearted and ultimately secretive about his feelings, and that is what he is. This girl in context is head over heels for him, and is madly in love with him, though he never seems to return her feelings no matter what the girl does.
2. Until a day comes when the girl dies, he comes to her grave and tells her, "The reason why I refused your love because I have sixth sense. I knew you were going to die. I had a premonition. I knew I won't be able to take it if you're gone, so it was easier to pretend not to love you than to be hurt when you're gone".
3. That night, the girl comes as a ghost to his bedroom and chokes him to death. "This is what you get for breaking my heart, and now that you're dead, you can always be mine".

Celebration

He is the headache inducing sweetness of cough syrup. He mesmerizes people with exclusive eloquence and beautifully crafted phrases; hypnotizing them into deep sleep and once he realizes the unimportance of the victim, he ceases to exist. At this point, his true colours show as opposed to his supposed deep side. He wants attention but runs away once he has secured it. He misses loving, but dares not succumb to it again, hiding behind the mask of temporary excessive friendliness to get through this caper of a world. His heart is fogged by doubts, his mind is plagued by paranoia. He embroiders his stories with smiles and endearments to convince others of his happiness, which in actual fact has been diluted by time and tears. And though I pity him for all that I have imaginarily charged him; I would never want to exchange words with him for his ever fickle friendship.

And N.

Under the misleading impression that we create our future, we stumbled giddily upon each other, each of us wearing our hearts on our sleeves. You with your immediate disgust and me with my ungentle persuasive countenance, you were hesitantly obliging. You cannot help feeling complimented by my attention, and I cannot accept the fact that you're plain as my mind slowly embellishes your image with expectations. One day the truth would surface and we would then realize how this is just an accident, a mere manifestation of entropy. One day we would have to let each other go.

Dicentra eximia

She has always been one of those who are polite and ever apologizing, but given the chance would jump at every opportunity to be cunning in the guise of begging for your trust. Her heavily embellished manners are a nuisance to live with. She tires everyone with her cordiality and oh-so-innocent eyes, secretly yearning for fame and liking from others by forcibly pouring stories on willing ears. She is gravity, you are in her vicinity and she is pulling you down. When you have had enough, you would leave but you would also return to her mourning smiles and sneering eyes because in the end, you only want someone to come back securely to.